rneerkat: whens chip skylarks next tour
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
egberts: svvitzerland: egberts: svvitzerland: svvitzerland: What is the opposite of a restaurant? a workaurant i hope you get arrested for this joke i think i need to get arworked
bennetwilcox: welcome to europe
riddlemetom: actual girl on fire in europe’s hunger games
New jersey buses have an infuriating habit of arriving two minutes early but shooting off into the distance instead of stalling
flanoirbunny: you can ship two people of the same gender as a platonic “brotp” without being homophobic (ﾉ ◕ヮ ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ you can ship two people of the same gender romantically/sexually without being a queer fetishizer ✧・ﾟ:*ヽ(◕ヮ ◕ヽ) you can ship two people of the same gender both platonically and romantically and oh my god stop automatically assuming someone’s ship choices are motivated by...
shutupaubrey: shutupaubrey: have you ever been kissed so passionately that you felt like you were in a daze and you couldn’t even move and you got all woozy
moltres: overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
teawithaview: Have you ever started to check your tumblr in the middle of getting dressed and half an hour later you’re still standing in your underwear with one sock on and also 15 minutes late.
p0ndorica: p0ndorica: sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich
me: eats a snack while making a snack
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
nbcemployee: the uglier the snapchat, the closer the friendship
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